Because I love you, that's why
by nelliskinkyinbed
Summary: "Do you know how long I have wanted to say that, that I love you, that you're the one thing that I have yet begun to understand? You're a puzzle wrapped in a enigma, smothered in secrets and... you smell like cinnamon." Nell and Eric - The morning after and the night before that started it all.


Your eyes are blurred (more than normal) when you wake up in the morning. There is a hand on your chest, tracing up and down with one finger, caressing your sides. You can also tell by the fact its darker, that a woman's head is blocking the morning sun - that would usually wake you up (like a silent alarm clock.)

"Morning," her voice is low and full of happiness. Her hand stops on your abdomen as she leans down and kisses your cheek. She smells of cinnamon and you feel lost when she pulls back. You feel her lean over your body again to take something from the bedside table, she stops and you realize she was reaching for your glasses. She places them on you and you blink a few times to reveal the woman.

"Morning," you croke back and your voice shocks you. Nell gives a pity smile.

"You're sick" she replies softly. "I knew you would get sick, you were soaked through last night," she gives another smile and searches your eyes.

"I think being out in the rain yesterday turned out pretty well," you quip as she shifts closer.

Her eyes divert nervously, "So, you liked last night?"

"Yes" you answer quickly.

"So you don't regret it?"

"No, why, do you? Please don't tell me you do because last night was one of the best in my life, being with you - being with the smartest, most beautiful, amazing woman - the woman I love I might add - was the best sex ever" you reach for her hand.

"It was for me too," she can't hold back her grin and it amazes you how one woman can move a few muscles and you're under her spell.

"You're beautiful," you repeat as your fingers trace down her jaw. She leans into your touch and lets out the purring sound you heard for the first time last night, it drove you crazy. Your arm goes around her and you pull her down to kiss but she changes course to your cheek.

"Sorry, but there is no way I'm getting sick as well," she moves back a tiny bit to stare into your eyes.

"Nothing a hot shower wouldn't fix," you grin but she just shakes her head. Your hands travel further down her back, you've remembered every crease and spot on her body. You can imagine waking up like this for the rest of your life. She moves so she's lying on top of you, nuzzling the side of your neck.

It still hasn't hit you properly, you had sex with Nell Jones, you broke the sanctity of partnership on the rug in her lounge. That look in her eye as the two of you moved together, her fingers threading through your hair as she bit back screams, how she whispered about how much she needed you while at the same time trying to tease.

Her fingers dance across your chest and you don't have to even look at her to know she's smiling, you can tell by the way she breathes. You've spent two years with this woman and you're glad she now knows the full extent of your feelings for her. You always fall too fast though, and most of the time it ends up horribly wrong.

You don't know how she does it but she knows you're worried over something. She sits up and turns her head to you. "What's wrong?" she tilts her head slightly and moves her hand to your cheek, grazing her thumb along lightly.

"This isn't going to be just a one time thing right? I mean, I loved last night, you were amazing - you're always amazing, you're the best part of my day actually. I just don't want this to be a one time thing," you confess "or a casual friends thing."

She blushes and looks down "Is that what you're worried about?" You nod and she shakes her head. "There is no way on earth I am keeping this as a one time thing," she kisses your cheek again and you curse the gods for making you sick this morning. "Plus, it can't be casual when you love the other person."

"No it can't," your hand ghosts along her side.

* * *

_"Nell, let me just explain," you call as she storms out of ops._

_"Don't follow me Eric, I don't want to hear any of it," she snaps back._

_You reach for her hand and when you grab it she stops, she looks you straight in the eye, there's hurt. "I know you're sorry, but I'm not going to accept it. I trusted you Eric and you went behind my back, why?" She doesn't give you time to answer and keeps walking until she's out the doors of the Mission._

_You curse yourself and kick the railing as you throw your head back, wondering how you could be so stupid, she was bound to catch you. Your hand rubs over the stubble on your cheek and you let out a heated breath, "You've screwed up big time, Eric."_

_It's an hour later when you see anyone else, it's Kensi. "Eric?! What are you still doing here?" her tone is shocked._

_"What do you mean?" your tone is flat._

_"Why didn't you go after Nell?" her hands go to her hips._

_You roll your eyes "Look, you don't understand, she's pissed at me okay? It's best if I just steer clear."_

_Kensi spins your chair around "No, it's best if you get out of ops right now and you go back to Nell's and you apologize for whatever you did." She grabs your shirt and pulls you up. "Go!" she points out the door._

* * *

_You knock on the door and hug yourself as the rain hits your already soaking clothes. You go to knock again but the door opens. Nell seems stunned to see you and her fingers nervously play with the end of her cardigan._

_"What Eric, If you can't tell me why-"_

_You cut her off by stepping closer and capturing her lips. She doesn't move and you start to worry that you've done the wrong thing. "Because I love you, that's why, I don't want you to leave" you say just clear enough for her to hear without removing your lips completely. She tilts her head to the left and a shiver runs down your spine (you're pretty sure that could be the cold too)_

_She pulls back quickly though and looks you over "I wouldn't leave ,Eric, you should know that I wouldn't take another job, I just don't want you going through my files, it's trust Eric, I need to be able to trust you." She rests a hand on your shoulder and scowls. "You're soaked, get inside." She pulls you in and shuts the door._

_"And you can Nell, you have to believe me" you plead._

_She bites her lip, "Were you lying when you said you loved me, did you just say it so I would let you in, did you just kiss me t-?"_

_Your eyes go wide and you cut her off "Nell! I love you more than anything; I- I kissed you so you would believe me when I say that I am the biggest idiot ever." You let out a sigh "Do you know how long I have wanted to say that, that I love you, that you're the one thing that I have yet begun to understand? You're a puzzle wrapped in a enigma, smothered in secrets and... you smell like cinnamon. You love romance but you hate the cheesy story lines You love to watch scary movies but always end up with the blanket over your eyes. You'll pig out on Chinese then complain about how much you eat - which is fine because there is nothing wrong with your body. You love the beach but hate the salty smell. You love to laugh but rarely go out with everyone. You-"_

_This time she's the one to cut you off with lips, and you take no time in responding._

* * *

"You're a lovable idiot" she mumbles as she wraps her arms around you and rests her head on your shoulder.

"You wanna' stay in bed all day?" you ask as she yawns and snuggles closer.

She closes her eyes "Yeah I do" her hands grip the sheets and she pulls them up more so that she's covered. "You know I love you too, right?"

You kiss the top of her head "I do now."

* * *

**Please review :)**


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